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Writer's pictureERG

Dear Border Czarina Kamala*


Forget Shapiro! Forget Walz!


One of these hombres (pictured) should be your veep running mate, instead. All were arrested for a home invasion in Troy, MI.


Not only is there the important swing state angle, the "international crime ring" component adds global cachet. Bonus: They all speak Spanish! Hispanic voter outreach never looked easier.


And you gotta admit: On a personal note, you like bad boys. And on a political note, you like unvetted migrants that cross the borders and commit crimes. After all, you've been enthusiastic about letting so many of them into the U.S., right?


So why not 'think outside the box,' and select either Geovanny, Alberto, Omar, Michel, or Owen. One of them deserves this opportunity, and so do you. Let's not worry about the natural-born citizen requirement. After all, you haven't been vetted for the presidency, either.


*Editor's note: This is a little pre-election day levity, but the border situation is deadly serious.



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